Is this the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” for you?

The December holidays, no matter what or if you celebrate can be very difficult for many people. It can be a time of great joy and great sorrow, depending on your circumstances. It can also be difficult to manage your own reality in the face of so much pressure from all around us to have a “Holly Jolly Christmas” or whatever.

For those who have lost a loved one the first holiday without them can be a difficult time of renewed and/or remembered grief. Our family lost a treasured member this year, and I know we will miss her this December, largely because we loved her and also because we visited her every year at this time.

For those with financial challenges, the pressure to buy everything from expensive gifts to expensive decorations and food can be very difficult and disheartening.

For those estranged from family or undergoing a family conflict, this time of year can be very difficult as well. Often people enter the Holiday Season that this year all will be well. If that does not come to pass, the let down can be very difficult to process.

So-what do you do to get through this time? It is all about self care and acknowledging how you are feeling. It is so important to be kind to yourself and while you acknowledge the difficulties you are experiencing, you also need to grant yourself the self kindness that you deserve. Think about what makes you feel good. Is it staying in your pj’s all day? Writing in your journal? Listening to music that you love or perhaps reaching out to a friend? Do what makes you feel good-unapologetically!

If you are grieving, know that this is a process that often ebbs and flows depending on a number of factors. There is no time limit to grief. Grief just is and it changes people. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve.

The only thing not to do is to ignore your feelings. Write, talk, do whatever you need to do to acknowledge how you feel. Reach out to others for support and comfort. That can be a furry friend if that is what makes you feel comforted.

Remember there are Crisis and Warm Lines that you can call for support. Check out CONNEX Ontario for a listing in your area. www.connexontario.ca, call your local crisis line or a local Warm Line. This Warm Line operated by the Krasman Centre: www.krasmancentre.co or 1 999 777 0979 is available 24/7 from 10 a.m. until midnight and offers Peer Support Crisis supports and a text feature.

You might also decide to reach out to a therapist or counsellor. Check out our last blog for guidance regarding that, or give one of us a call.

I wish you all a peaceful and happy Holiday. May 2023 make all of your dreams come true.

Jai Mills, M.S.W., R.S.W.