How Can Counselling Help Me, and how do I find someone I feel comfortable with?
This is a great question that we are often asked by both clients and others alike. Counselling/psychotherapy can help anyone regardless of who and where they are if they are prepared to do the work required to get to where they would like to go. This is one of those processes where the journey is just as important as the destination.
Sometimes people seek counselling in order to seek support for a challenge they are facing. Perhaps they have lost a loved one, including a beloved pet. They may have lost a job, or perhaps they are just not sure why they feel unsettled and unhappy. Counselling can help with all of these life challenges. The aim is not to make you feel bad about yourself, or that you have done anything wrong. The aim is to support you in learning and growing from the choices you have made. There are no mistakes, there are only opportunities to learn and grow.
Having an authentic conversation can help when the person feels they are heard and validated. A counsellor or therapist can support and help by pointing out themes in what is being expressed. For example, I remember a client who talked about her experiences in school. Her face lit up when she discussed certain subjects she was taking. Observing that to her helped her understand what she really enjoyed about school and the direction she wanted her studies to take. This is often the process of Narrative Therapy where the client is supported by the therapist to author their own “story” and embrace the changes they determine are best for them.
Counsellors can also provide information and teaching on specific techniques. One of the best tools for managing anxiety is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Learning these techniques can really help make anxiety less intense, and thus more manageable. Did you know that anxiety and depression are often the reasons why people visit Emergency Departments? CBT is more often than not the treatment technique of choice for people who feel overwhelmed by anxiety and/or depression.
What counsellors are not able to do is tell you, the client what is “best” for you, or offer a “quick fix”. The only “magic words” in counselling and psychotherapy are those the client comes up with for themselves.
Finding the right counsellor for you is so important. This is not a “one size fits all” modality. As you pursue your search for your “best fit”, take advantage of the consultation service most counsellors and therapists offer free of charge. Ask the questions you need to ask in order to feel comfortable.
There are sources that can help you find a registered professional in your area. These are the website of the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers, (www.ocswssw.org), the Ontario College of Registered Psychotherapists, (www.crpo.ca) or the College of Psychologists of Ontario, (www.cpo.on.ca). All of these professional bodies have online registers. The Ontario Association of Social Workers also offers a “Find a Social Worker” service where you can look up registered Social Workers along with their location and specialties.
It is your right to ask the questions you need to ask in order to feel you have found a “good fit”.
This is your life and your work. Make sure you find the therapist/counsellor that feels best suited to your needs.
Until next time…
Jai Mills, M.S.W., R.S.W.