Grief
I really struggled with the most appropriate title for this post. I finally decided that simply stating “Grief” would be the best title. Why? I want to be respectful of grief and of the fact that there is simply no one right way to grieve.
Grief can take many forms, and is the result of loss. Whether it is a partner, spouse, parent, child or pet, grief is a tough emotion to experience and perhaps even more challenging to both understand and cope with.
Perhaps the only standard thing to say about grief is that regardless of the loss, the person experiencing it has the right to their feelings, and to their grief.
The other standard thing I would say is that grief changes us. We are never the same after a loss. This is not a quality statement about “good” or “bad” it is “is”. You are not the same person following a loss. How could you be?
I remember that a very close friend of mine told me that time is the major healer of acute grief. “It puts a pillow behind your back” she said. You still experience the Grief, but it is softer and perhaps even comforting on some level.
It is important to experience your emotions after a loss. No emotion is wrong, and none are right, they just are. It is so important to be gentle with yourself, experience self care and seek the support of your friends and loved ones.
If you are supporting someone who is grieving, it is important to accept that there is no “magic phrase” that will take the grief away. The magic you can provide is to accept them, acknowledge their grief and walk with them through what will be a difficult journey.
Therapy and counselling are always an option. Self help and Peer Support groups are also a source of support for many.
Here are some resources:
The Krasman Centre www.krasmancentre.com
Bereaved Families of Ontario https://bereavedfamilies.net . BFO has a number of local chapters.
If you have lost an infant or child, check with your hospital. Sinai Health Network, Sunnybrook and most hospitals have social workers on staff who can connect you with resources.
If your loss is related to someone who is a victim of suicide you can obtain support from suicideprevention.ca, your local Crisis Line, or from your local Victim Services.
Be gentle and kind with yourself.
Jai